Vulnerability, Honesty & Being Human
'Searching for a Van'
We are all human. We all make mistakes.
Often a failure is a great opportunity to turn things around...
There are several take aways from this story:
- We are all human
- Psychological safety
- Pivotal moment
- Anticipating the worst
- Pass it on
- Empathy
We are all human
We all make mistakes – no one is infallible, so it might be helpful to develop a culture in which mistakes are framed as such – so that people do not live in fear of making a mistake
Psychological safety
Being more ‘mistake-tolerant’ and less ‘mistake-averse’ is part of creating a psychologically safe environment. may have real benefits, such as people coming forward and raising concerns; and people being more prepared to take risks and be more creative
Pivotal moments
These are moments when the choice made can make a real difference. Dealing with a mistake is one of those moments. If you’ve ever made a mistake and been criticised or punished for it, how did that feel? And if it was a learning opportunity, then how did that feel? That pivotal moment may have had a significant impact on your motivation, morale, commitment, confidence and future performance and loyalty.
Anticipating the worst
In the story, the new employee feared the worst. But the worst didn’t happen – quite the reverse. It’s typical for many that, in facing a difficult situation, we fear the worst – we even catastrophise – identifying then anticipating the very worst that could happen – in this case, getting fired. So although in this example it might seem reasonable to have feared the worst, in general, be careful not to develop a habit of fearing the worst for every outcome – not only will that create stresses and strains that prove to be unnecessary, but might also encourage you to constantly ‘play safe’, and as a result, diminish or hide your best efforts and potential success and satisfaction.
Pass it on
You may have heard of the phrase ‘pass it on’ – which means, if you’ve received a benefit or gift, anything positive, then pass it on. This story is a case in point. The person who spoke to me later that evening knew how I felt, because they had experienced something similar, and had wished they had been treated more kindly. So this was their opportunity to pass that learning on
Empathy
The above example was also extremely empathetic. They were able to put themselves in my shoes, and appreciate how I must be feeling, and how they could show support. For me it has always been a classic example of empathy, and that response has certainly encouraged me to respond to others’ mistakes in a similar way, and to put myself in the other person’s shoes.
... you have fundamentally two choices:
to punish, or to develop.
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